Sunday, August 27
alright. duno wad i doing nowadays. just dreaming away. sigh. jc life. made me kinda lifeless smtimes.- DEAD
Wednesday, August 23
i wonder. why those idol shows, are getting those young young ones. like 16-18 kind. i mean, its a waste. really. they grow up the voice more mature more strong nicer laaa. y so early go into the competition den kick out cannot do anything. too childlike voice. like lisa tucker. paris bennet. the aust idol 3rd season desert girl duno her name yet. so young e voice got that child tone. sigh. waste.. grow up sure can do really rocking diva songs. wasted!!- DEAD
Tuesday, August 22
sigh. failed spa likes nuts. skill. NO WAY i wun fail. i totally misread e qn. eh wait. i didnt even read! damn. DAMN. no graph somemore. moody shits. feel like eating.- DEAD
Saturday, August 19
upset. my mom just compared me with my vvv good fren. i mean, its just an attachment, den she say i everything everytime lose to that fren. which is dumb la. like its a competition. mebbe its competitive since spots are limited, but its just not a competition wad. den she say i everything lousier although that fren more playful. sigh. i wish sometimes my family can see me for who i am and what i have done and acheived instead of what i missed out on. i don think i am inferior but i dun see myself superior oso. den i ask her wad exactly i lose to that fren. she just keep mumbling that i am a loser. sigh. my sis also. openly shouted loser like 7 times or smth. . i try to keep a strong face lo, but inside just kinda disappointed already when i heard e result. i refuse to listen to them and believe that i am a loser. i duno if its pride or confidence or self esteem or arrogance or egoistic. i cant perceive my own character. i just hope there is a chance for me to really shine one day. sigh. but. why?! WHY?! why am i compared like this? sigh. nobody can see the tears that just ran down my cheek. i dun wan this to be kinda like a competition since its my good fren. but y do i feel an urge to try and shine after the "loser" remarks? WHY DO U ASSHOLES ALSO TRY TO SEE ME FOR WHAT I DID NOT TURN OUT TO BE?! i dont have earholes i dun have tattoos i dun spew vulgarities at anyone so whatif i am irritating and very bitchy smtimes. i am lazy. i procrastinate. i tell lies. YA. BUT I AM ONLY HUMAN! ooo. YES. humans. thats the problem! we are nvr satisfied. OH DUN TELL ME WAD NOT SATISFIED SO CAN IMPROVE THAT FUCKING CRAP. if we ARE satisfied, the world would be a happier place. u wont bomb me becoz u arent upset. i wun insult others cause we are all frendly. and even if we do its a frendly insult. YES there is something called a friendly insult.- DEAD
Thursday, August 17
alright. i have a lot of things to say. been a long week.- DEAD
Saturday, August 12
its so dreadful. you know. singapore mrt. sometimes when there is like no crowd. not rush hour. it seems so lonely. like at pasir ris. people that enter the train fill in the side seats first. nxt to the panel. next person that comes will sit one seat away. it gives this lonely feeling. like there is nobody beside u. and no one cares about you. there is just this empty space. would anyone notice if you were upset? would anyone have cared if u dropped a tear or two?- DEAD
Thursday, August 3
alright. been busy. resting and listening to lectures. quite lazy do tuts. sigh. no more drive. must catch up. ahhh! jia you liju!- DEAD